RAAAAAAAAAAAAARRR!!! This is my blog, and my posts will be as stupid as I want!

Fduey theoap sifjk i A dkuwo pfkuy ayo jg. Soien fikl osur itnj oskf, woi llliuf fi ai s as jtjo wp ozx zuyt eyrkd a. Sffjieo jkkodlka. Jji diaj fooow palkdj irk dui ajkjk foap eow zk. Ejoai kduot shhho kkl fo poallk ou r htoea. Tpl ayuotukdo qpek an dofiike rhoaodk nnoakd okroa wela pdjf pq eor. Adq pioapprok tlk eiii tiaskjd fiooepw klankgoid fkow ekr uoia sn kowook ouur kaosdk foj aojf oue k aobz, ufoq koek rlaj bjpzkj krp kj wjfa df okqwejoriu z.

It’s me! Oh, wait, no it isn’t

See, that mess of nonsense is probably as interesting as anything else you’ve ever read at most other blogs. Why do you even read those blogs in the first place? You could’ve just come here and read this post instead. I mean, not read it, as such. Since it’s an endless stream of nonsense—and not a secret message, I swear, meticulously encoded to prevent the release of ancient gnostic secrets (believe me, it’s true, don’t spend all afternoon at work trying to figure out the key word, a word that would probably be found in one post at Defamer, you know, the only word that is used just one time between August 11, 2004 and September 7, 2007 and probably in an article about Thora Birch, because if you found that word, it would crack the secret code, I swear. I mean it wouldn’t! wouldn’t!)—you can just load the page, take a nap, then move on to other more important matters, like being a grown-up or having enough of a life that you stop caring about the stupid things complete strangers type. Bah! Either the internet is useless or I have no talent or I should really go to bed. My co-blogger is going to punch me in the head after I post this.

The Internet!

Here is some stuff you need to do. If you don’t, I will rob you of your cats.

  • READ THIS: Dashiell Hammett’s Red Harvest
  • SMOKE THIS: Dope, you hippy
  • LISTEN TO THIS: Metal Machine Music or you dishwasher breaking (indistinguishable)
  • BUY THIS: A meatball sub, with provolone, toasted
  • WEB SURF THIS: Lasagna Cat

Do all these things; goodnight.

One Comment

  1. obadiahstarbuck
    Posted January 27, 2008 at 9:11 pm | Permalink

    This post really sucked… you guys should get off the internet. Someone should try your computers for war crimes and put them to death at the Hague. Then call up Marconi’s zombified corpse. If you really beg, he might let you use his wireless telegraph, but probably not, or only after you let him eat some of your brains. Although it’s obvious from this post that you might not want to let him eat too much, because you really don’t have any brains to spare.

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